159 women killed, but still no action
By Ashlee
There are just three days left to sign the Clare’s Law petition and urge our federal government to implement a domestic violence disclosure scheme that could save countless lives. Survivor Ashlee shares her own experience, illustrating how the current system leaves victims vulnerable.
Content advice: This article contains discussions and depictions of domestic violence.
Pieces like this one are free to read. Please consider becoming a paid subscriber so Cheek can continue paying writers for their insight and expertise.
I thought it would never be me.
At first, it was just a few nasty words – small cracks in the surface of his kind, green flag façade that I brushed aside. Then one day, I found myself counting the holes in the walls. I told myself it was fine because he hadn’t hit me. Until he did.
The last time was the worst. His hands tight around my throat as I clung to my three-month-old. I held him tight, my body a living shield against the violence. I remember the tears, the trembling, the way he laughed at my fear. Every struggling breath was a fight to survive.
I saw a chance and with what little strength I had left, I ran – baby clutched to my chest, keys and phone in hand, nothing but the clothes on our backs. I collapsed into my mum’s arms, gut-wrenching sobs shaking me as the weight of what I’d endured finally hit. I had escaped, but the fear and the pain lingered, etched into every part of me.
That wasn’t the first time. But it was the last. I was one of the lucky ones. I got out. I survived.
Every time I hear about another woman killed by her partner, I remember that it was luck that saved me, not systemic protection.
The current figures are grim. Since January 2024, 159 women and 40 children have been killed in Australia because of violence, according to Sherele Moody’s Australian Femicide Watch. It is reported that 1 in 4 women have experienced intimate partner violence since age 15. The government declares domestic violence a national emergency, but the numbers continue to rise, and the response since has been a deadly silence.
Political rhetoric is thin, if it exists at all. Media coverage is inconsistent, and many of these deaths barely make headlines. Even a Google search for answers takes extensive digging. How many more dead women before someone listens? We should not have to die to be heard.
When Thomas Kelly (2012) and Daniel Christie (2014) were killed, Sydney lockout laws followed swiftly, exposing an uncomfortable truth: policy reform only follows certain kinds of outrage, but not others. The deaths of two men changed an entire city’s nightlife in an instant. Yet 159 women dead has produced nothing but another round of condolences and false promises. What do women have to do to be mourned with the same urgency? When will our deaths demand the same action as theirs?
Government campaigns and budget pledges are easy headlines, but money alone cannot undo years of structural neglect. Support cannot stop at a hotline number or a one-off grant. Survivors need safe housing, stronger legal protection, and real long term safety planning. But more critically, men must be taught that control is not love and violence is not power. Prevention matters. So does dismantling the culture that excuses, minimises, or jokes about male violence.
Every time someone says women should ‘choose better men’ they show just how normalised male violence has become. This idea that women are to blame for their own deaths – for staying too long, for what she was wearing, for missing the red flags – is both cruel and false. It shifts responsibility away from perpetrators and back onto those already trying to survive. It’s time to hold men accountable for their violence. Dating should not feel like a game of Russian roulette, with women forced to gamble their lives on someone else’s self-control.
One practical step forward is the nationwide adoption of Clare’s Law – the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme. It was first introduced in the UK in 2014 after the murder of Clare Wood by her ex-partner. Clare never knew about his violent history. This law gives people the ‘right to ask’ and the ‘right to know’. It allows you to request information from police about your current or former partner, or that of a close friend or family member, if you fear they pose a risk. Police can then disclose relevant information to help you make informed, safer choices.
A petition (EN8178) is currently calling for Clare’s Law to be implemented across Australia as a national framework – with proper funding, public awareness, and enforcement. Yet as I write this, only 100,576 people have signed, with just days remaining. In a country of over 20 million, that number should stop us cold.
Clare’s Law won’t end violence. It won’t fix a justice system that doubts victims or a culture that normalises control. But it is a step, a real, practical measure that could save lives. Sometimes, the difference between life and death is a single decision, a single warning, a single chance to know.
I sat in silence for years. But I will not be silent anymore. One woman currently dies every four days. These are not statistics - they are lives cut short: mothers, daughters, sisters, stolen and silenced. 159 women lost while we wait for the system to change. I know the fear, the isolation, the fragility of survival. Domestic violence is real. It is deadly. And it will not stop if we continue to let women die in silence.
If you would like to sign the petition, please click here.
The author of this piece has chosen to remain anonymous to protect their personal safety.
Will sign the petition! The Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme already exists in South Australia, it should be national. https://www.police.sa.gov.au/your-safety/dvds
Women are being punished for not being subservient to men, for standing up to patriarchy. Our deaths are not being communicated because we are being told we are not in control. We don't have the power. As long as there's silence there's complicity.